When Being Buddhist Gets too Hard

I have been away from engagement with my community for a year now.  I have barely seen my Rinpoche, even though he is less than 20km away, partly because of his illness with dengue fever.  Our community is not functioning well.  We catch up with other from time to time and every so often we meet for a practice, but somehow everything seems withdrawn.

Maybe this has been my year to churn over what this is all about.  I still practice in one way or another at least 5 days a week, and do some reading most nights. I am writing this tonight mainly to put something up and recommence  and reinforce my contemplation.

Next weekend I will be blessed by being able to spend 3 days with His Holiness the Dalai Lama in Melbourne, where he is doing a teaching on Shantideva's Bodhisattva's Way of Life.  The book I most turn to for daily reading is a translation of Shantideva's teaching, as listed in my reading list.  So this teaching will have great relevance for me.  Another blessing is that the three monks from Kyegu are still here and will be at the teachings.  I include the photo of them at the last teaching by His Holiness in Sydney as a source of inspiration and gratitude for their presence.

I will publish this now, so I have some action on this blog.  I will be back within 2 weeks with a few words around the teachings, maybe even with a little wisdom to pass on. 

Thank you for being with me as I move through this illusion of Buddhism being Too Hard.

Yours in Dharma,  Vajramate

Visualisation in Vajrayana Tantric Buddhist Practice

I have become aware of my tendency to stray from my objective of talking about those things not part of the actual teachings into the realm of teaching. I will try to keep away from actual teachings in this post.

This time I will cover the issues that arise around practices that require some quite complex visualisations. This came from a question posed to me on how to visualise when you are not a visual person. Good dilemma!

The image is of the wrathful deity Mahakala. It is a good example of how much detail needs to be visualised. As well, there is a requirement to visualise a mantra-mala at the heart, with the appropriate symbol on it and a variety of different coloured and formed rays of light emerging from the mantra.
Let's go back to the structure of the practices. In the Sakya version of Ngondro or The Excellent Path of the Two Accumulations there are five aspects – Refuge, Generation of Bodhicitta, 100 Syllable Vajrasattva Mantra, Mandala Offering and Guru Yoga. These are called the Preliminaries, as they purify karma from previous lives and accumulate merit. Prostrations may be done as part of Refuge or Bodhicitta. Other traditions may have more or fewer parts, but they all recommend 100,000 repetitions of each to achieve purification before undertaking more advanced practices.
Similarly, the Vajrapani practice recommends recitation of 1,000,000 short mantras and 100,000 long mantras.

When I enquired about the exactness of these numbers, I was told that experience shows by the time you have reached the nominated count, you will have habituated your Mind into a new way of being and you will have moved along the path towards to enlightenment. No great magic, just practice.

In the words of that great philosopher, Groucho Marx, when asked about Sincerity he said "Sincerity is all that matters. When you can fake that, you've got it made". Likewise, the Buddhist practice is keep faking it in your Mind until it becomes your Mind.

But how do we keep visualising when we are not of a visual nature?

We expect too much of ourselves to be able to fully visualise the complex image that is presented to us when we are doing a Vajrayana practice. The level of concentration just to remember the image, let alone be an embodiment of the image, just drives our Mind to distraction.
It becomes easier if we view a visualisation as a process of experiencing rather than seeing. When we assume the state of the Bodhisattva upon whom we are meditating, think of it as just being that Bodhisattva. Try to capture a sense of the essence of the Bodhisattva, not an identical image. It helps to consider the image as if it were seen in a mirror and not as a substantive figure.

Then consider the roles of all the senses. Sight gives us an image, which may be blurred, hazy, imprecise. It doesn't matter that much.


Sound from recitation of the mantra gives us another avenue to capture the essence of the Boddhisattva. If concentration is waning, up the volume of your voice or change the rhythm. That will quickly bring you back to the essence.

You may use incense or candles to add perfume to the air, and bring in an appropriate aroma that relates to the nature of the particular Bodhisattva. Soothing lavender for Tara, fire and brimstone for Mahakala.

Again, by varying your voice and breathing you can generate vibration, so you can feel the essence of the Boddhisattva.

I am struggling with taste, maybe I'll come up with something another time.

In summary, visualisation is more about experiencing rather than seeing. Keep faking as much as you can and over time some parts will become natural and you will invoke other parts to focus on. Play with your senses to experience different aspects of being the nature or essence of the Bodhisattva. If it all falls apart, come back to looking out from the third eye and slowly extend your sense of body from there.
And never let go of what it is about that Bodhisattva that will enhance your journey along the Path.

Thus ends this post. May whatever virtue or merit that derives from this posting be for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Yours until next time, Vajramate.

Meditation and Vajrayana Tantric Buddhist Practice

In my early years as a Buddhist I lacked clarity on what was meditation and what was practice. To some extent I now realise this lack of clarity reduced the value of my practice.

In some traditions of Vajrayana Buddhism, Mahamudra meditation is the path to achieving an enlightened or wisdom Mind. This is not a state of Mind. It is a transcendental experience or state of being. The word mahamudra symbolises the nature of Mind.

The objective of Mahamudra meditation is to achieve what is known as a Clear Light Mind or Luminous Bliss. "Luminous Bliss" is the title of a definitive book on Mahamudra Meditation by Traleg Kyabgon Rinpoche of the Kagyu tradition. His main centres are in Melbourne, Australia and New York and he features in Ken Wilbur's recent book Integral Spirituality. The Kagyu tradition maintains achievement of the Mahamudra state leads to enlightenment through purely meditative practices. This is a form of tantric practice, moving through many phases.

Other traditions, such as the Sakya tradition that I follow, advocate a different tantric practice approach. Both practices offer the possibility of enlightenment in a single lifetime.

This is where my confusion evolved. I did not set about discovering the differences between meditation and practice until I did my retreat in Eastern Tibet a couple of years ago. I will now attempt to pass on my limited understanding to you.

In a previous post I described the sadhana, the text for undertaking a specific practice. There is a beginning, where we acknowledge our teachers, purify our current state and declare our motivation to do the practice for the benefit of all sentient beings. Then there is the middle, on which I elaborate later, and the end, which is the dedication of any virtue and merit that may have been earned for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Now – about the middle.

The main part of the practice consists of a number of elements in what can be considered as an active meditation. It is active in that the meditation focuses on a specific aspect of the Buddha's teachings and involves visualisations and mantras. Mantras are usually counted on a 108 bead mala.

The visualisations generally involve bodhisattvas such as Chenrezig (Compassion), Tara (Healing), Dzambala (Prosperity or Wealth), Manjushri (Wisdom) and the wrathful deities Mahakala and Vajrapani. The term wrathful is a bit misleading, and they are also known as the dharma protectors. Their role is to protect one from illusions, negativities and the assaults of various spirits that may result in corrupting the dharma practice. As such, they are benevolent rather than malevolent.

The picture is of Chenrezig, also known as Avalokiteshvara in Sanskrit . The Chinese Buddhist emanation is female in form and known as Quan Yin or Kwan Yin. The two guardians or supporting bodhisattvas are Manjushri, with the sword of wisdom, and Vajrapani.

In order to undertake these practices, one must be initiated into the lineage of teachings by a qualified teacher, usually a Rinpoche or Tulku. A Tulku is a being who has been recognised within their tradition, and quite often by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, as a reincarnation of a previously recognised teacher. Traleg Rinpoche is one such being.

The visualisations themselves are quite often very complex, but the objective behind them is really quite simple. As we all know, in traditional meditation it is difficult to stay in the meditative state for extended periods, even if measured in seconds. The tantric approach says that if you are concentrating on a visualisation which in itself has many aspects, and you are reciting a mantra and counting on a mala, whenever your concentration strays, you can come back to another aspect and regain the concentration. While this does not meet our western understanding of meditation as being "relaxing and calming", it is meditation or contemplation in its own right. In envisaging oneself as the bodhisattva, you are not worshipping (in western terminology) the bodhisattva. Rather you are training your Mind to develop the attributes of the bodhisattva.

However, do not expect to get up from a tantric practice in a touchy/feely relaxed state of being. The practices are active and you come out of them embodying the active aspects of the bodhisattva on whom you've been practicing. Personally most of my daily practices, and my retreat in Eastern Tibet, are around Vajrapani Bhutadamara, a particularly powerful aspect of Vajrapani. The visualisation is on the removal of illnesses, obscurations, negativities and evil spirits. After half an hour of him, you are ready to take on anything!

My feeling is that the tantric approach is well suited to my western background. There is still the dichotomy of doing versus being, and at times I have to remind myself to BE Vajrapani rather than DO Vajrapani.

I hope this provides some clarity on aspects of Vajrayana tantric meditation.

Thus ends this post. May whatever virtue or merit that derives from this posting be for the benefit of all sentient beings.
Yours until next time, Vajramate.