When Being Buddhist Gets too Hard

I have been away from engagement with my community for a year now.  I have barely seen my Rinpoche, even though he is less than 20km away, partly because of his illness with dengue fever.  Our community is not functioning well.  We catch up with other from time to time and every so often we meet for a practice, but somehow everything seems withdrawn.

Maybe this has been my year to churn over what this is all about.  I still practice in one way or another at least 5 days a week, and do some reading most nights. I am writing this tonight mainly to put something up and recommence  and reinforce my contemplation.

Next weekend I will be blessed by being able to spend 3 days with His Holiness the Dalai Lama in Melbourne, where he is doing a teaching on Shantideva's Bodhisattva's Way of Life.  The book I most turn to for daily reading is a translation of Shantideva's teaching, as listed in my reading list.  So this teaching will have great relevance for me.  Another blessing is that the three monks from Kyegu are still here and will be at the teachings.  I include the photo of them at the last teaching by His Holiness in Sydney as a source of inspiration and gratitude for their presence.

I will publish this now, so I have some action on this blog.  I will be back within 2 weeks with a few words around the teachings, maybe even with a little wisdom to pass on. 

Thank you for being with me as I move through this illusion of Buddhism being Too Hard.

Yours in Dharma,  Vajramate

A Buddhist View of Pride - Affliction, Sin or Goodness?

A recent radio discussion between 3 christian ministers discussed Pride as one of the 7 deadly sins. In Buddhism it is also listed as a key afliction, up there with attachment, aversion, greed and anger. But pride is also a source of strength and achievement, isn't it? This lead me to explore the way in which Mahayana Buddhism addresses Pride.

As with all aspects of the Middle Way, the object itself has no inherent characteristics - it depends on the motivation behind observing the object. So Pride is both "Good" and "Bad".

Once again, I found Shantideva's Bodhisattvacharyavatara (Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life) gave some very clear distinctions. Whether the object of our pride is wealth, accomplishment, spiritual practice, children, appearance and so on, we can approach it from either of these points of view:
1. Self Importance: I am proud because I am wealthier, more successful, a better spiritual being, etc. than you. I will let everyone know that I have Pride in my achievements so they will think more of me and less of others. My Pride is based on external perceptions.
2. Self Confidence (I don't fully like this translation, but it serves its purpose): I am content with where I am with my wealth, status, practice, etc. and I am proud in that. I can have that Pride without having to broadcast it, and I can move on. My Pride is purely internal.

In contemplating this post, I thought about my pride. Am I taking Pride in putting up a post that I can say a thousand people have read, or does my Pride lie in having meditated on an aspect of me and recorded it, not caring if it is read at all? Maybe my achievement is having considered what is one of the five major afflictions and come to a better awareness of my own progress on my path to becoming enlightened.
But wait! Just by saying this, am I leaning towards Self Importance rather than Self Confidence? Oh well, back to contemplating the beautiful words and poetry of Shantideva!
Thus ends this post. May whatever virtue or merit that derives from this posting be for the benefit of all sentient beings.
Yours until next time, Vajramate.